Like the wretched Utah winter that never seems to end, Flo Rida’s reign atop the Hot 100 with the dreary “Right Round” dragged on for six long weeks. Lady Gaga finally dethroned the two-hit wonder with her own second hit, the electro-clash “Pokerface”. Following her first No. 1, “Just Dance”, Gaga’s back-to-back chart toppers makes her the first artist to have her first two singles go No. 1 since Christina Aguilera ten years ago with “Genie In A Bottle” and “What A Girl Wants”. Just a few months ago Aguilera was reported saying that she was “completely unaware of this person” and that she “didn’t know if it [Gaga] is a man or a woman”. Gaga responded by saying, “[Christina] is such a huge star and if anything I should send her flowers, because a lot of people in America didn’t know who I was until that whole thing happened. It really put me on the map in a way.” I’m sure Christina is painfully aware of who Lady Gaga now. Here’s your top ten.

1. “Poker Face” – Lady Gaga
2. “Right Round” – Flo Rida feat. Kesha
3. “Kiss Me Thru The Phone” – Souljah Boy Tell ‘Em feat. Sammie
4. “Dead And Gone” – T.I. feat. Justin Timberlake
5. “Blame It” – Jamie Foxx feat. T-Pain
6. “Gives You Hell” – The All-American Rejects
7. “My Life Would Suck Without You” – Kelly Clarkson
8. “The Climb” – Miley Cyrus
9. “Just Dance” – Lady Gaga feat. Colby O’Donis
10. “Love Sex Magic” – Ciara feat. Justin Timberlake

Rachel Stevens is the poster girl for pop injustice. This British pop star’s short career produced two albums and seven singles including two No. 2 hits but due to general ambivalence of the British public, she hasn’t released a thing since 2005. Although her artistic input was neg liable (one co-writing credit on her sophomore album Come And Get It), she embraced her role as a manufactured pop star and never pretended to be anything different. Stevens was a lightning rod for innovative pop during the mid 2000s getting handed hits from songwriting giants Xenomania, Richard X, and Cathy Dennis. Her body of work is small but impressive.

To promote the album, the Armand Van Helden Remix of “Signs” has been released as Intimacy’s fifth single.
WARNING: This video is graphic, weird, and disturbing. It was flagged as “inappropriate” on Youtube. If you don’t want to risk it, at least click play and scroll far far away so you can at least listen to the amazingness of it. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Signs (Armand Van Helden Remix)”

For a presentation on photo manipulation for Comms 101, I used the Blender cover featuring a composite photo of Britney Spears at the height of her meltdown to showcase the use of obviously fake photos to present a point. Besides the composite photo disclaimer, the cover tag line asked the question on everyone’s minds concerning the princess of pop: How Will It End? Ironically, Britney Spears is still going strong while Blender has announced its own demise.

After fifteen year, the music magazine will be publishing their last issue hitting news stands next month. Contributor Robert Christgau compared Blender as a Hyundai trying to be a sports car to Rolling Stones‘ Cadillac and while those comparisons are fair, Blender will be missed. Their infatuation with lists was a bit over the top, but, to be fair, lists are the bomb (especially year end ones).

Carl Wilson expressed his surprise commenting, “The shocking part is that I had figured Blender was the most commercially savvy one in the music-magazine market – they built their business on photos (especially of scantily clad pop starlets), best-ever/worst-ever/most-outrageous sorts of lists, titillation and trivia, backed up for credibility with a review section full of some of the best working music writers struggling (for a good paycheque) to squeeze wit and insight into tiny little capsule reviews. I hated its glibnesss, but it wasn’t snobby – it was pro-pop, pro-hip-hop and pro-indie all at once – and it certainly seemed saleable; if even they can’t survive, I’m not sure there really is a music magazine market. Curiously, a lot of the more niche-oriented publications – rap magazines and metal magazines in particular – seem to be doing well still, when I thought they’d probably be the most easily displaced by fan sites and blogs. Perhaps cliqueishness (and even snobbishness) is actually a safer marketing bet?”

Rest in peace Blender. You will be missed.

Lady Gaga was recently spotted by Chicago police and called out for her lack of pants. She told the Daily Star, “All you saw was this half-naked girl on the street yelling at some cop…’It’s fashion! I’m an artist!’ ” Other Gagaisms regarding her love of exposing flesh:

“I just don’t feel that it’s all that sexy. It’s weird. And uncomfortable. I look at photos of myself, and I look like such a tranny! It’s amazing! I look like Grace Jones, androgynous, robo, future fashion queen. It’s not what is sexy. It’s graphic, and it’s art. But that’s what’s funny: Well, yeah, I take my pants off, but does it matter if your pants are off if you’ve got eight-inch shoulder pads on, and a hood, and black lipstick and glasses with rocks on them? I don’t know. That’s sexy to me. But I don’t really think anybody’s d- is hard, looking at that. I think they’re just confused, and maybe a little scared.”

“It’s not that I don’t like pants, I just choose not to wear them some days.”

“My grandmother is basically blind, but she can make out the lighter parts, like my skin and hair. She says, ‘I can see you, because you have no pants on.’ So I’ll continue to wear no pants so that my grandma can see me.”

You go Gaga, you go.

I’ve been too busy to post lately and it’s a shame because a lot has gone on in the world of music. Probably the stupidest thing going on is Flo Rida’s dominance of the Hot 100. His Dead or Alive sampling “Right Round” broke the record for most downloads in a single week, a record he himself set in 2007. “Low” amassed 467,000 downloads in a single week in late 2007. “Right Round” destroyed that record with an amazing 636,000 downloads. The track has now topped the charts for four solid weeks with no signs of loosening its grip.

With strong digital sales and growing radio airplay, “Right Round” might be No. 1 for quite some time and if no other song can match its supremacy atop the Hot 100, it just might end up the No. 1 song of 2009 making Flo Rida the fourth artist to score two Year End No. 1 songs. But, does Flo Rida belong in the same class as Elvis Presley, the Beatles, and George Michael? (In fact, does George Michael even belong in the same class as Elvis and the Beatles?) The answer is obvious. Absolutely not.

Flo Rida is two hit wonder. What sets him apart from every other two hit wonder is that his hits are blockbuster singles. Even though there are dozens of artists more deserving of the success than our pal Flo is, he is the model of the 21st century paint-by-numbers pop star. The hit makers fashion a sure-fire smash of a song, deliver it to a personality-less rapper, and wait for the royalties to roll in. Meanwhile, T.I. is denied his third No. 1 from Paper Trail as “Dead and Gone” feat. Justin Timberlake remains at No. 2 for a fourth week.

Flo Rida’s sophomore album, R.O.O.T.S. is due out March 31, but don’t expect the record shattering achievements of “Right Round” to foreshadow any sort of success for the album. Sure, “Low” has sold over 4.5 million downloads to date, but his debut album Mail On Sundays has only sold 367,000 copies in a year. His single sold two times as much in one week as his album did in 48.

1. “Right Round” – Flo Rida
2. “Dead & Gone” – T.I. feat Justin Timberlake
3. “Poker Face” – Lady Gaga
4. “Kiss Me Through The Phone” – Soulja Boy feat. Sammie
5. “Gives You Hell” – All-American Rejects
6. “The Climb” – Miley Cyrus
7. “Just Dance” – Lady Gaga feat. Colby O’Donis
8. “Heartless” – Kanye West
9. “My Life Would Suck Without You” – Kelly Clarkson
10. “Blame It” – Jamie Foxx feat. T-Pain

Here’s the song. Please don’t go buy it and contribute to it’s undeserving reign at No. 1. If you ever want to listen to it, you just come to 17 Tracks and watch it here instead.